...I am a terrible Mom. No really. After all the stories, the warnings and the signs that it could happen...Owen rolled off the bed. I feel awful. I'm such an idiot. Just yesterday I left the room briefly and came right back in to find him in the process of rolling near the edge. I rushed in and got him before anything happened. So why, I ask myself, did I not heed the warning signs? I thought I was safe today because he was in the middle of the bed. I thought I was safe because I was all of five feet away from him. I thought I was safe because it usually takes him some effort to roll from his tummy to his back and surely I'd hear that. But no. Not safe. Instead I heard a thump and found my sweet little boy laying flat on his face on the floor. And instead of the giggles I heard when we played on the bed, I heard terrible cries of sadness and pain. Cries that broke my heart. So it's official. I am a horrible Mom.
Miles said I need to realize that I'm going to make mistakes as a parent and forgive myself. I know that's true, but I hate to think that it's because of my actions that Owen experienced pain. I hope I can avoid these kinds of mistakes in the future and be a better Mom.
And just so you know, I'm not posting this for sympathy or to hear that I'm not a bad Mom. I'm posting it so I never forget the day that I realized I can never be too safe when it comes to watching out and caring for my baby.
12 comments:
I am sorry, but this made me laugh a little. Audrey rolled off the bed when she was a week old...yeah, before she could even roll over. Amos, Maggie, and I were totally traumatized-Audrey never knew anything had happened. I was a sobbing, screaming wreck and when I went to Eric for sympathy he said, "it happens to all of them at some point, at least you got this one out of the way early."
Oh I hate days like that! I know you said you're not looking for sympathy, but just realize that we've all done (and probably will continue to do) things like that. Like when I clipped Tucker's finger instead of his fingernail at 2 months old & he bled for an hour. Or even when I whacked his head on the doorframe just two nights ago. We try our best, but we're not perfect. You are a fabulous mother who loves & cares for your baby--and that's the best kind of mom Owen could ask for. :) (Sorry for the hard day though.)
The other day I left Felix on the couch and went to make a bottle and came back to find that he had rolled off his back onto his stomach and was hanging on to the edge of the couch for dear life. You're not terrible...you're normal.
Maybe you'll need some time before you think this is funny, but here it is anyway. I think every parent has shortcomings. It's all part of the process. I figure if someone's doing stand-up on it, it's relatively common--probably the reason why I was homeschooled, haa, haa. This whole last half of the special on parenting is hilarious. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rA9MC5rMBA&feature=related
You'll want to pick up at 7:08 and you'll have to finish it off by pulling up part 5. If for some reason it doesn't work, it's Jim Bruer, Let's Clear The Air and the user on youtube is super7o.
I keep waiting for that to happen. But today Jared put Noah on his shoulders and didn't realize he was in thw basement and the ceilings are low. BONK. It's only a matter of time for all of us.
Hahaha!! This is SO NORMAL. But still, I'm glad I'm not the only one out there. I used to clip Weston's fingertips all the time when I tried to clip his nails. I eventually refused to do it anymore. It was traumatic.
Oh, it's so sad when they're that little and getting hurt. I'm sorry! But you are a great mom, I know you are. Just wait until he starts crawling and getting super mobile - Preston insists on playing on the bed with Chandler, and he knows all too well what happens when he gets too close to the edge, but he falls off all the time. He's getting pretty good at it though, he lands on his bum most of the time, haha.
yeah, Anna was not even 3 months old when that happened to me. I still have moments like that.. where you almost forget they are little human beings that need a LOT of care and caution. Reminders are good. But know that things like that will periodically happen probably for the rest of your life. We can't expect perfect from ourselves or else we would be perpetually disappointed...and its hard enough as it is.
I know you don't want sympathy but it does happen to the best of us. Our first fell off the bed and I felt so bad too. Don't worry, you are not a terrible mother.
Oh Kendra. I had to laugh only because I think we all think we're terrible parents when this happens. Because it happens to everyone. And guess what? I'm on my second go around with baby number two and it's happened twice! You think you'll learn with your first one but you won't......or at least I didn't. I think thats why God made their bodies the way they are. They mostly bounce instead of break. You're a great mom I'm sure!
I was tossing Kiana up in the air and catching her, like I've done millions of times with 5 children. I never had one that liked it as much as Kiana does, though. This time, something happened and she rotated in the air to where I couldn't catch her. She fell straight on her head and suffered a skull fracture. She will be fine, but I understand exactly how you feel.
I've been at this parent thing for almost 14 years, and this happens after millions of times with 5 kids.
While I'm traumatized by the experience, and hating myself a fair bit at the moment, the important thing to remember is that pain is part of learning.
There will be times you could have prevented it, and many more times that you couldn't have. Ultimately, those experiences are the reason that we're here. Am I going to throw Kiana up and catch her again? Probably not for a little while, and I will not throw her as high as I used to. Even though it's tempting, there's one thing that I WILL NOT do and that's regret the times that I did throw her up in the air. We shared a lot of fun times, and the joy on her face is still something I treasure.
I know it's not the same as rolling off the bed, but no reward comes without risk. You're a wonderful mother, and you and Miles have a beautiful baby. Just remember that protecting us from all pain and hurt was Satan's plan. We're here to fail and learn, and pain is a part of that.
Think about it, and know that Heavenly Father feels about us the same way you feel about Owen. He hates to see us fall, hates to see us hurt. Ultimately, Owen is going to stumble, and sometimes he'll get hurt. All you can do is let him take that first step, go on that first date, and hope you taught him enough. When there is pain, when he feels like he's failed, be there for him. Heavenly Father made that choice with us, and he's always there when we hurt, even if it's over a minor injury to one of our own children.
Suie, I'm sure you wouldn't have had quite the grief if Kimmie hadn't JUST told you about Austin rolling off the bed a week or so before this happened.
So, Owen lost a few little brain cells, NOT! You gained some ... not the least of which will be that you'll be more watchful and careful but that you'll apply the advice from others.... as in the many loving ones on this post.
You're a wonderful mommy, Kendra. Owen is blessed with fabulous parents and I'm blessed with a fabulous daughter, who was never dropped... ;-)
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