Lately I have heard about numerous struggles that my friends and family members are facing. They are dealing with serious issues - divorce, depression, infertility, miscarriage, the potential loss of an unborn child, financial struggles, and so on. I am astounded by the sadness and heartbreak around me. But even more so, I am in awe of the strength that I see in these individuals. My heart aches when I hear of their trials, so I can only imagine the pain they must feel. Yet I see so much resilience, growth, and love from those who are completely justified to feel angry, hurt, sad, or upset. And at the same time, I know from my own experiences, that bitter feelings do not bring happiness or comfort.
When I recently heard of a friend's struggles, I was saddened that I was unaware of what they had been going through. I felt like a bad friend to be oblivious to their personal struggles in life. It made me want to be more observant and discerning in watching those around me. It is so easy for me to get caught up in myself and stop looking beyond to the needs of those around me. I don't want to be that way and miss out on helping and serving my friends and loved ones.
Hearing these different stories has also made me that much more aware of all of my blessings. Last night after hearing of a barrier in my friend's yearning desire to become a parent, I walked into Owen's room and watched him sleep. I was brought to tears as I felt overwhelming gratitude for my sweet baby sleeping peacefully in his crib. He is by far the greatest blessing I have ever received, and a direct answer to prayers. I am so thankful for all that Miles and I have been given and yet I wonder why on Earth we have been so blessed. And so it scares me too. I know life is not without its trials and tribulations, and cautiously wonder when our next one will come. Still, I know that they are for our strength. In hindsight it is easier to be grateful for our trials, and yet I still do not long for more.
My heart goes out to those who are suffering, whether openly or in silence. I ache when I learn of others struggles and wish that I could give even just one small piece of happiness or impart feelings of peace and comfort. But I also know it's not mine to give and that is why our Savior suffered for our sins and is there to ease our troubles and pains. I hope that I can always be mindful of the price Jesus paid for us so that we might have joys in life. And to also know that He is by our side in our trials, having personally experienced the pain they have caused.
Again, I feel so grateful for the blessings in my life. I hope that in my moments of peace and happiness that I can remain mindful of others. I am eternally grateful that we have a Father in Heaven who loves us and an elder brother, Jesus Christ, who carries us when we are weak. Our struggles are not unknown to them.
9 comments:
thank you. that encompasses many of my thoughts lately, but you have said it beautifully!!! hope all is well with you!
Seriously I have felt SO MUCH of the same thing this week.
I have found out about friends losing family members to cancer, friends losing jobs, friends losing babies (38 wks), friends losing pregnancies (miscarriage), friends in broken marriages (who also are expecting babies soon), friends with undiagnosed illnesses, friends with children with newly diagnosed challenges.....all in the last week!
I don't know if I just haven't been paying attention or what. I definitely feel OVERLY and ABUNDANTLY blessed. Like I need to DO MORE with what I have been given and yes I also feel that tidbit of trepidation...what's next on our challenge list...
My prayers are full of pleadings this week, just like yours.
Kendra, you have such a tender heart and a sweet spirit. You bless all your friends around you and the Lord has blessed other people with your friendship so they can know how much you love and care for them. You truly are the dearest friend to those around you, and I know they are so so grateful for it, just like I am.
So many thoughts revived as I read your blog... So many veracities in your ponderings and perspectives...
I remember clearly specific feelings and apprehensions I not only had, but expressed about your age, well actually about age 25 or so, "My life is so blessed, I wonder when the bottom is going to fall out."
Well in the past 40 years since then, there have been many times when I've experienced low points, but I must say, the bottom never really fell completely out; and that is because of the very reality of that which you bear testimony.... Jesus Christ is our rock, our salvation, our mentor, our strength, our advocate and our example. In addition, and retrospect, I can see that trials DO INDEED grant us the opportunity to grow stronger, to reach higher, to be more humble, to learn. I must say, I would not choose to grow in those ways, but I am grateful for the promises and the process. I have not reached the point of seeking growth through trials. I know that will happen without request.
Somehow even for me it seems that there is more sadness, difficulties, hardships and trials around us than when I was your age. This awareness may be for a variety of reasons not the least of them being the reality that indeed the world is in more turmoil, society's values and virtues are weakening.
I once taught a YW class about the value of friendships. In your friendship home there are three kinds of friends.
1) Those you allow in your front door; those who happen by, who are acquaintances, who are casual friends.
2) Some you let in your back door; those with whom you have a trusted friendship, that you enjoy being with.
3) Very few does one let in the side door. This is the door to your heart, the door to the intimacies of your soul. These are the friends with whom you would literally trust your life and your confidences; the things not known or seen or not meant to be known or seen but by only a sacred few.
Kendra you have the gift of being a side door friend. You are perceptive, intuitive and extremely attentive. You've always had the gift of learning the lessons of life vicariously. Continue to develop those attributes and at the same time strengthen yourself in the Lord, for you cannot lift another unless you are on higher ground.
I love you my sweet daughter and love the woman you are becoming. Life is a journey, not a destination. Enjoy the journey and continue to bless and support others in theirs.
xoxoxoxoxox Momma
Beautiful post Kendra.
Found this beautiful video by Hillary Weeks:
Beautiful Heartbreak - Hilary Weeks - Every Step
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xyX-I-um5Kk
ENJOY!
awe sweet kendra. i am SO looking forward to seeing you soon (next week in fact!!) and continuing with our long-paused conversations. i love you!!
Thanks for sharing these tender thoughts. They really touched my heart.
I hear you girl. One of the things you mentioned that rings the most true for me is the "apprehension about future trials" part. I know that wasn't the part you wanted to concentrate on, but sometimes I feel so blessed in light of what other people have had to go through, that I wonder what God has in store for me? Will I lose my child later on, will I have a crippling disease, will I have a handicapped child? Will I lose my spouse?
Ack! I am such a pessimist sometimes!
But you have gone through your own share of trials Kendra-- don't downplay your own unique experience!
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