Tortured love

I watched my friend, Christy's little girl, Mila today for a couple hours. I was going to get Owen dressed before they came so Mila wouldn't think he was a total heathen, but distractions one out and Owen got to be naked...as usual. Owen was totally enthralled with his little girlfriend, Mila. He was so beside himself with excitement, he didn't know what to do with himself. First, he wanted to be right by her and share toys with her and touch her and pat her and point out all her body parts ("eye, no {nose}, ee-ah {ear}, bay-but {belly button}" and so on).
Then, Owen was saying something to me, but I didn't understand what. Then he stepped toward her and I thought he was going to step on her. However, I quickly realized he was just trying to straddle her......because what he was saying was, "Ride, ride, ride!" He wanted to ride Mila.
After Mila obliged him with a "ride," he decided to reward her with a kiss. Mila wasn't so sure at first.
But then she warmed up. (Or at least was distracted enough by the block that Owen could sneak in a kiss).Then Owen stole her bow, put it on his head, and pranced around for a bit.Next, he wanted to sit next to her on the couch and flaunt his fruit snacks in front of her.Shortly after that, Owen started to lose it and got very upset when Mila wanted to play with his ball.A couple more melt-downs from Owen struggling with sharing, and it was nap time for him. Like I said, he really didn't know what to do with himself. Do I love her or hate her?

So Mila and I had a little alone time, and I couldn't resist snapping one more photo of those beautiful, big, blue eyes; precious, pouty lips; and huge, wanna-squeeze-them cheeks.She is such a doll! And so easy to watch. While Owen was rather bipolar with his emotions, it was probably good practice for both of us for what's to come in about 7 months.

Sneak Thief

We often refer to Owen as our little "sneak thief." He is so sneaky and will find ways to get what he wants - whether through manipulation ("peeeees" {please} while giving you the cutest face; or pointing his way to the "treat cupboard" and saying, "yep!") or by getting it for himself (digging through my purse for treats). Recently, I've caught him red-handed.

The first time was the day I was making a bunch of sugar cookies for a Relief Society activity. He had already eaten probably two or two and half cookies. (Yes, I'm an awesome Mom. Don't judge). I was pretty focused on finishing up as it had taken me all morning to do. Suddenly, I look over and see my naked (no surprise there) baby running around with a cookie that has three bites out of it. What?! Where did he get that from?! (Which is exactly what I asked him). He bolts out of the kitchen, and ducks under the counter ledge.

I love that he was totally crouching down like a little fox nibbling on his prize that he snuck from the farmer's yard. Such a stinker! Oh, and he got the cookie by moving the computer chair to the counter, climbing up and grabbing one from the nearest stack. Smarty pants!

Then, a couple days ago, I was once again busy in the kitchen, (and yes, I do supervise my son...most of the time) and I heard a noise in the front room. I see that Owen has gotten into the tic-tacs from my purse (he's seriously obsessed with them...and anything mint flavored). I took them from him and without any prompting he goes, "AH!" and opens his mouth wide.I think we've got a problem. He has his parents' sweet tooths...sweet teeth?

5th Anniversary

This year, Miles and I celebrated our 5th anniversary. I told him that I would take care of planning our celebrations. I informed him that he needed to be home from work by 12 PM so we could go to our ultrasound appointment and then plan to have the rest of the day off, or just take the whole day off (whichever he preferred). He opted for a whole day off...I mean, who wouldn't? :) We started with a lazy morning at home since Owen didn't wake up until 8:30 AM. I made us German pancakes for breakfast. (Anyone seeing the trend here? Either I like to celebrate with German pancakes, or I just really I like to eat them. A lot. Or both).

Ok, so the plan was to keep all of the celebrations and festivities a surprise for Miles. But that didn't work out so well. I have learned my lesson. If you want things to be a surprise - 1) Tell only those who are on a need-to-know basis, 2) If you tell someone about the surprise, make sure they know - its.a.surprise. A week ago, one of our friends (who shall remain nameless) let it slip to Miles that we were staying at a B&B. Then, when we were up in SLC celebrating my niece, Hadley's 12th birthday, Matt threw out, "Great, so is it this weekend or next that we'll see you guys up here?" Yeah...so he obviously knew that Matt and Kerry were watching Owen. So it didn't ruin too much, but the surprise of it being an overnight get-away was ka-put. Oh well.

Back to our day. Miles knew that we were leaving and not coming back for at least 24 hours. However, I took care of getting everything packed and set for us to go, so he wouldn't know what to expect. We left and went to our ultrasound appointment. After hearing our sweet baby's heartbeat, we left and drove up to Salt Lake to drop Owen off at Kerry's. As soon as we got there, I put him down for a late nap and went through the rundown of Owen's schedule's, likes, dislikes, etc. Then off we went.

First, we went to our B&B to check-in. We stayed at The Inn on the Hill. It's just right up State St. from Temple Square in between the Conference Center and the Capitol. It is a beautiful, huge, old home.

The hostess said that she liked the room we were staying in the best of all of them. When I was booking the room, I was disappointed because I wanted to get a room with a king sized bed (a luxury we don't have right now) but they were both booked. However, I am really happy with the room we had. It was beautiful and had an amazing view off our semi-private balcony overlooking the temple and downtown Salt Lake. The room itself was so pretty too with a lovely mantle over the fireplace, a stately bed, gorgeous detailing and decor, and a huge jetted tub. It was awesome.

Here was the view off the balcony from our room:

Once we checked in, I told Miles we needed to rush to get changed and on to our next destination so we could make our dinner reservations at 5:30 PM. After quickly changing into dressy clothes, we drove to the Conference Center parking and speedily walked to the temple to do sealings. This is something I love to do for our anniversaries to remember the covenants we made on our wedding day. We were able to get in with a group who had already started some sealings and finished up by 5 PM. It was perfect timing to get changed and head to dinner.

We walked through the temple grounds and took some pictures along our way as we headed to dinner.

We then went to The Roof in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. I wanted to eat there because that is where we ate the night before we got married. At first I was frustrated when I called to make reservations and they only had early or really late dining times. However, the time ended up being perfect. We were able to sit and enjoy our meal while the sun was setting and as it got dark and the temple lights lit up. It was beautiful.

However, I should mention that poor Miles had a terrible view (or rather no view) the whole time. I had requested to sit by the window, but they said they were all reserved, so we sat on the other side of the aisle near the window, but by the wall. I had a perfect view, however, Miles' view was blocked by a wall. :( Poor guy. And the worst part of it was that two of the tables they said were reserved were never used the whole time we were there! Ugh. I wanted to complain, but didn't.

Why yes, I did hang a spoon from my nose in a fancy restaurant. :)

Also, another note about The Roof. The views (like I said) are AMAZING and breathtaking. However, the food is just ok. In terms of a buffet, it's definitely gourmet style, but was still not totally worth the price. Matt made a good point when we talked to him the next day. He said, "If the food was really that good, with the views they have, they would be rated as one of the top places to eat in Salt Lake. Which it's not." However, I did really enjoy a number of salads, the mashed potatoes, and the 20 (yes TWENTY) different desserts they had. Ok, so I didn't really try all 20, but their creme brulee was to die for!

After stuffing ourselves, we headed downstairs for the final surprise of the evening. We went on a horse-drawn carriage ride up to Memory Grove near the avenues. On our wedding day, Kerry had arranged for us to take a carriage from the temple grounds to our reception center that was east about 8 blocks or so. It was such a fun time and one of our fondest memories from that day. I looked online to see the different tours they did, and chose one that would take us for a 40 min ride. We bundled up in wool blankets, but it was still pretty cold. However, it was really enjoyable and a lot of fun.

After our ride, we headed back to our room where they had set up music, candles, truffles, and sparkling cider in our room. It was tre romantic.

The night also included a wonderful soak in the huge tub (something I haven't done in forever...ah, so relaxing) and a back massage for me. :) And once again, the nighttime views from our room were beautiful. Hard to capture - but beautiful.

We both slept miserably that night (thanks to an overly soft bed and hot, hot room) and had a lazy morning watching a movie and eating our breakfast in bed that they brought to our room.

Then our fun had to end. :( But lucky for us, that just meant getting to see our sweet baby boy.

We went back to Kerry's. Owen gave us a kind of sly, smirky smile and then reached out for Miles (because he was closer) and then quickly reached out for me. :) Kerry said he did really well, except for waking up at SIX AM! Stinker! Gratefully, he does not do that to us at home and I get to sleep in anywhere from 7:30 at the earliest to 9:45. Poor Kerry. Otherwise, I think he (and all the Wickmans) had a lot of fun.


Here is a picture of Owen with babysitter extraordinaire! It was the best shot we could get since Owen was more interested in the toothbrush than in posing for a picture.

On a mushy note, I am so so grateful for these wonderful past five years I have had with Miles. He makes me so happy and is an amazing husband, friend, and father. I am really excited to see what the next five years hold for us. (And he gets to plan our 10th anniversary!)

I should also mention that Miles is a stinker. He pretty much guessed everything we were doing that day from where we were eating, to going on a carriage ride. He's just like his father - impossible to surprise!

IVF: US #6 - Heartbeat

At 1 PM on our anniversary, we had our appointment for what was hopefully my last ultrasound at RCC for quite a while. It was to go in and make sure the pregnancy looks good, and hopefully see/hear a heartbeat. Having a positive pregnancy test is great, but there is so much that can go wrong early on in the pregnancy. From what I understand, once you hear a heartbeat, your chances of having a miscarriage go down significantly (although not entirely). So I've been pretty anxious for this appointment to get confirmation that all is going well.

When they called us back and we walked into the room, Owen immediately burst into tears. He thought that it was a doctor's appointment for him. It was so sad. I don't know if he remembered getting shots from his 18 mo checkup, or if it was leftover trauma from when he went into the ER for his croup last month and he got really upset when they listened to him breath and checked his oxygen levels. Either way, it was sad that he was freaking out so much. Miles held him, tried to calm him down and reassure him that the appointment was for mama and not for him, while I got ready and sat on the table so he could understand that *I* was the one the doctors were coming to see. Once I sat down, he calmed down pretty quick.

The doctor came in and said that I had had good HCG levels which made for a 50/50 chance of twins. I had no idea it was that high. However, as quickly as I got semi excited at the thought of twins, he started the ultrasound and said, "Looks like there's just one." And then he moved it around a bit and before he even said anything, I could see the little flutter of the heart. All my concerns just vanished. Seeing that little flicker on the screen is amazing. He wasn't sure if we'd be able to hear or not since it's so early, but he tried and we did. He said it was a good heartbeat. He checked things out, measured the sac, and said things looked good. He mentioned I have a small blood clot just behind the sac that might cause some spotting. He said if it was bigger, it would be a potential concern, but he didn't see any need to worry since it was small. I'm glad he told me about it so that if I do spot I won't freak out...well, at least not as much as I would have.

Afterward we took a picture with Dr. Heiner. I figured it would be nice to have one with the doctor who helped us get pregnant with Owen and now another baby. :)

Katie was busy in a surgery or something so I wasn't able to get a picture with her. They congratulated us, the nurse gave us a hug and they gave us a little bottle of sparkling cider with a parenting magazine and other info.
We also did a video recording while we were there. I just uploaded them, and sadly, most of it didn't get recorded. Miles handed the camcorder off to me, but I thought he'd turned it off to do the pass. I guess he didn't. So we got about 3 seconds of the flutters, then a bunch of nothing. :( Sad day.

My due date is October 9th (my niece, Elena's birthday). So far I am feeling ok. I've had moments of nausea, but nothing too major. I'm pretty sure last time all that kicked in between 6-7 weeks, so I would imagine it will be anytime now that I am 6 1/2 weeks along. Here's hoping it's not that bad! Luckily I've prepared some by making meals to freeze for those times I feel terrible and don't feel like cooking. Of course running after a toddler will also make things interesting. Either way, I am just so so happy about this and feel so blessed that for both of our IVF attempts, I have been able to get pregnant on the first try. I am really excited and plan on calling first thing on Monday to set up my first appointment with my prenatal doctor. Of course now time will drag as I wait for monthly appointments, but that's ok. I'm really hoping to enjoy these last 7 or so months I have with just Owen. :)

My funny Valentines

This year, we decided that Miles would be in charge of Valentine's Day and I would cover our anniversary (since they are within the same week). The night before Valentine's Day, Miles came home with some beautiful flowers. I said to him, "You know today's not Valentine's Day, right?" He said, "Yeah. But there was no way I was going to Costco to get flowers on Valentine's Day." Smart man. :)

On V-day, Owen and I just hung out and enjoyed one another's company. He enjoyed a sugar cookie from a friend. Wait...enjoyed? I mean DOWNED. He just gnawed and chomped on that thing until it was gone. I'm not sure he even came up for air.He also ran around like a silly goose with his sunglasses on while holding his Christmas bear from his Great Grandma and Grandpa Wright. I love my funny Valentine. :)

That evening when Miles got home, he grilled up some amazing filet mignon with roasted asparagus, sour dough bread and sparkling cider. Owen had a hot dog. Here is our delicious meal with the flowers Miles bought, the See's chocolates I got, and card Owen and I made for Miles.A family picture. Do you think Owen is expressing his dislike with his meal? In all honesty, he ate it right up and stuck his nose up at the bite of steak I offered him. He'll learn one day.After Owen went to bed, Miles indulged me in watching a chick flick. I chose Water for Elephants. And in all honesty, even after reading the book, I found the movie to be pretty slow and kind of boring. So I appreciate that Miles stuck with it. After it was over he said, "I would have fallen asleep if I wasn't sure you would have killed me." Ha! Not sure I would have gone that far, but I'm glad he stayed awake to snuggle with me. All in all, it was a simple, but lovely Valentine's Day, and I am so lucky to have not just one, but TWO funny Valentine's!

Overwhelmed

I am completely and utterly overwhelmed by the love and support I have received via blog and Facebook comments and likes, phone calls, texts, etc. regarding our IVF process and being able to conceive. When I started blogging about all of this, I don't think I really had that many readers and I was doing it mostly as a record for myself, as well as in hopes of educating/helping someone out there. Little did I know how many stalkers supports I had! It really has made me feel totally enveloped with love. Thank you for caring. Thank you for following along, step by step as we have taken this journey. Thank you for being understanding and non-judgmental. Thank you for being interested. Thank you for the encouragement and strength you have given throughout. At first I worried about putting everything out there. I worried that people wouldn't care or understand. I worried that people would think I was over-sharing and being too personal on such a public front. I worried that if things didn't turn out well, I would have to deal with sharing my disappointments with everyone. But I don't worry anymore. I have received nothing but positive feedback and words of love and encouragement. I know that if for some reason our pregnancy does not go as planned, that we will be buoyed up and receive even more strength and all the comfort we will need. Thank you, friends, families (and even strangers) for all of it.

IVF: Pregnancy Test

I called Katie on Tuesday to find out when I was supposed to go in for the pregnancy blood test. I had been told two different things by two different people - either Thursday or Friday. Of course I was hoping for a day earlier, but she told me it was Friday. Bummer. As if each day wasn't excruciatingly long already. Then she asked if I had taken a home pregnancy test. I said, "No. Can I?" She said that some people just get anxious and take one early. I asked her when I would be able to get good results. She said, "The closer to the blood test, the better. You could take it today or tomorrow." I had always thought that the blood test was an early pregnancy test, but really, it's just right around four weeks. So if an at-home test was able to do early detection, you could find out before then. However, taking an at-home pregnancy test early is not always reliable, and could easily make me feel more anxious if for some reason I got a false negative. I decided to mull it over for a while. During the previous few days, I had been feeling as though I was on the verge of starting my menstrual cycle. Bridget told me that could be a sign of pregnancy and that those feelings can be similar to pregnancy. I also had no recollection of how I had felt before when getting pregnant with Owen. However, after thinking about it all day, I decided to run to the dollar store and pick up a test (or two...just in case) so I could take the test the next day.

That night I was pretty restless and had two different dreams where I took the test and had positive results. As soon as Owen woke up, I took the test. I went into it with an open mind that even if it was negative, it could be wrong. (And knowing that if it was, I would still probably be devastated). I put it on the counter to wait the two minutes and went to get Owen. I said, "Do you want to go see if you're going to have a little brother or sister?" We walked into the bathroom and this is what I saw:
IT'S POSITIVE! I'M PREGNANT!Owen looks super excited, right? ;)

I went to the bedroom where Miles was half asleep and handed him the stick. He stared at it and blinked a few times and said, "My eyes are too blurry, what does it say?" I told him it was positive. Obviously, we were are so excited! :D We decided to celebrate with some delicious German pancakes.
Soon after, I told our parents and my siblings. When I called my sisters it was hilarious. One of them immediately started crying and the other screamed really loud in my ear. I told them that they reacted more emotionally than I did! I guess I know where to go when I want some positive encouragement. :) I also called Katie to tell her the results and ask her if there was any chance of the trigger shot being detected as a false pregnancy. She said that it should be out of my system for sure by now. She was also really excited for me, but told me to go in on Friday for the blood test just to confirm the results.

Later that day Kerry, Owen and I flew out to CA for my parents' 50th wedding anniversary party. (More on that to come). On Friday morning I went in early to a lab to have the blood work done. I do have to say, since the at-home pregnancy test was positive, my nerves had calmed down significantly. It was kind of nice not feeling super anxious all day waiting for the call from Katie. However, I still was excited when I saw her number on my phone. She said, "Are you ready for some good news?...You are definitely pregnant!" She said they look for HCG numbers of 100 or greater and I was at 365. I asked if that could mean twins. She said, "We usually tell people if it's 500 or higher then there's a chance for twins." I said, "So it's probably just one." She said, "You never know, but probably." YAY! I really am pregnant! It was great to hear that I had good strong hormone levels.

Now we just have to wait for our ultrasound. We go in on the 17th (our 5th anniversary). I was kind of bummed cause I thought we could go in earlier, but Katie said that we probably wouldn't be able to hear the heartbeat if we came in earlier. Of course I'd rather get that confirmation, so I'm willing to wait the extra five days. So far I've only had some mild pregnancy symptoms - frequent and urgent urination (ugh) and breast tenderness. But I will take every sign and symptom that reminds me I have a baby growing inside of me!

I was looking up some information about how far along I am. At first I entered it wrong so it showed at 3 1/2 weeks. It talked about the different layers and cells. Then just 3-7 days later, it looks like a tadpole. And in two weeks, we can hear a heartbeat. It is so incredible! Life really does begin at conception.

Anyway...I'd just like to thank everyone for coming along with us on our IVF journey. The love and support has been so important to us and we've felt it all along. We are so happy that we've conquered the first hurdle by getting pregnant and hope that it sticks and we have a healthy baby in the end. And of course, there will be another update in two weeks when we have our ultrasound.

21 Months

Owen is growing and developing so well. He constantly amazes me with the things he knows I was unaware he had learned. His speech is exploding.

He is such a polite boy. While we were in CA for Christmas, he learned to say "May me" (excuse me). I first noticed when he was walking in between a plant and a chair and as he was scooting around them, he kept saying, "May me, may me, may me." It was so cute. He's even polite to inanimate objects. He also says "Bess you" (bless you) when someone sneezes, still says please and thank you (all.the.time.) and has now added "Sigh-ee" (sorry) to the list (due to time-outs requiring him to apologize for his behavior). I really love how polite he is and I hope it continues.

Some other things he is saying: Cais (cars - think like the name Kai), ee-you (love you), nigh-nigh (night, night), peep (sleep - he does this with the sign when he wants to go to sleep or we tell him it's time for sleep), side (slide), and ping (swing).

Some of his words are morphing. For example: He used to say buh-buh-boo for balloon. Now he says bah-woo. He has also started putting words together, like "Hi Mama," "Bye Dada," "No thank you," and my favorite - "Thank you, Mama." He also says, "Where?" while throwing his arms up to his sides like he's asking and looking and then follows with, "There it is!" Other favorite sayings are "I did it!" or "I got it!"

When he sees someone he wants to talk to or wants them to acknowledge him, he will say, "Hiiii!" or "Here yeh, yeh." (Not sure what the last one is about).

He's getting kind of particular about things. He always requests me to pull down his pant legs if they ride up when I'm putting him in his car seat or a swing. (Pretty sure he gets that OCD from me. I hate that feeling too). He also doesn't like when his hands are too messy and will say, "Heyns!" to let me know he wants me to clean them off.

He also doesn't like it when there is a hair on his tray or hand or blanket (yes, I shed a lot) and will hold it up saying, "Hayee" to alert me to take care of it.

He counts 1, 2, 3 or says "Rey-ee" (ready), grunt, "go!" when he is about to go down a slide, jump off of something, or wants you to swing him while holding his hand, etc.

Owen loves going through and emptying out all the contents of my purse.

He loves to pull things around, especially our suitcases if one of us has just come back from a trip.

I made up a really silly song that I sing when he does a poo poo. It's simple and the words are, "You did a poo poo! You did a stinky!" When I first did it, he followed by saying, "poo poo!" and "sinky!" after each line. Then when I repeated it, he said, "Ewwwwww!" It was hilarious and I laugh every time. He also likes to let me know when he did a poo poo (although sometimes will quickly try to deny it). Some times I think he's just trying to warn me though cause he'll say, "Poo poo!" and I ask if he did one and check and he didn't. Within 10 min, he will have done one. This isn't always accurate. And no, I'm not ready (nor is Owen, as he still likes to splash in and throw things into the toilet water) for potty training.

He still loves taking baths and has discovered the joy of bubbles.

Following bath time, when I put lotion and a diaper on him, he likes for me to cover him up in his towel and lay on the changing table. Sometimes he'll pretend to go to sleep.

Once he's ready to get down, he likes to run around with his towel hanging off his head.

Owen loves to play in his crib. He will jump around or hide behind his blankets. Sometimes in the morning, he will have found an extra pacifier (if he cries in the middle of the night and I can't find the one he lost, I just grab another) and shoves them both in his mouth. I love it. He's such a goon!

He loves to pretend to go to sleep. He'll lay down, cover himself up and say, "Nigh, nigh!"

If he has a hoodie on, he has to have the hood up and will immediately say, "Head!" to tell me to put it on.

Owen likes to walk around with a blanket on his head. Sometimes he can see where he is going, other times he can't. I love watching my little ghost maneuver through the house.

He still loves ice and is more than obsessed with mint. He used to wake up and say, "Ee! Ee!" (eat, eat) while putting his fist to his mouth. Now he wakes up and says, "Min! Min!" (mint, mint). Ridiculous. But seriously, he'll eat anything minty - Tic Tacs, Gum (if he can get his hands on it), Altoids, Junior Mints, Mint ice cream, Floss...ANYTHING.

He also loves to eat peanut butter and will bring me the PB and a spoon so he can eat it straight from the jar. Here he is using the peanut butter to his advantage:

His first spaghetti experience. I think it was a hit.

And his first green smoothie in a bowl rather than a cup.

He can get out of his PJs by himself (as seen in the nakey-snake post). Luckily it's not too often I find him naked in his bed.

He loves to empty out all his blocks and put the plastic block bag over his head and walk around with it on.

This was my poor attempt at getting him dressed for church one morning. Two legs in one leg hole. Oops!

He is getting to be a dare devil and sometimes it worries me. He can go down stairs without holding onto the railing, if he feels confident about it or they aren't too high. He loves to climb, climb, climb and will climb up on chairs or tables or the back of the couch. He also has no problem stepping (or semi-jumping) off of couches or other high places. Eek! Usually he'll either catch himself and stay standing, or tumble to the ground and start laughing. At least he thinks it's funny and is smart enough not to jump from too high. He can also go down slides by himself.

Here he has emptied one of the shelves in our hall closet and climbed inside the cubby hole:

Sometimes he walks backwards, or just likes to spin in circles and say "Whee!" He also enjoys being spun on the computer chair.

Owen is getting more independent and often doesn't want my offered help with things and will quickly tell me, "NO!" So I usually let him try on his own, and if he struggles for too long, either he will ask for help or I'll offer it again.

He's showing some signs of imaginative play. He likes to feed his stuffed animals or toys (car, etc).

When I put him to bed, I say, "Nigh, nigh. I love you," and he replies with, "Nigh, nigh. Eee you." I love it. It makes me melt.

The end...