Saturday, July 24, 2010

Stay-at-home-Mom



As of July 23rd, I am offi
cially a stay-at-home-Mom, or a SAHM. My twelve weeks of maternity leave are up, I have given my notice, and resigned from my job as a youth therapist at Wasatch Mental Health. It feels pretty monumental, as it's something I've wanted for a very long time.

There is a part of me that misses some of my work...the clients I loved that touched my heart, knowing that I have helped someone in their life to become a better person or to rid themselves of pains and scars that have weighed them down, and feeling as though I am daily using my mind and education.


However, there is plenty that I don't miss...the 8 to 5 grind, defiant clients, parents who are unwilling to change to help their family, being a witness to horrific, inhumane acts against children, being micromanaged by management, feeling helpless in the face of laws that do not stand by the victims, and living for the weekend. These are the moments that did not make me feel as though I was living up to our work motto of "Embracing Wellness."

I've thought a lot about returning to work at some point and to some small degree, but I want to be able to give myself fully to Owen and raising him. I want to give my talents and energy to him so that he can have the opposite experience of so many of my clients, by having loving parents that are willing and able to give everything to him. And I am so grateful that I am able to do this.


I've had two experiences were people have had strong opinions about my choice. One person was a client's parent. When I told her that I was pregnant, and if all went well, I was not planning on returning to work, she said, "Wow...all that education for nothing." I could not believe the gall she had to say that to me. And not only did she say it once, but TWICE! On two different occasions! I don't know why I felt the need to defend my choice, but I did. I told her that I had worked for four years, and if I could return part-time, I would, but that my employer did not offer part-time as an option. However, as I think back on this, what I should have said was, "No way! I got that education so I could help others. I helped other people for four years. And now, because I CAN, I want to put all that I have learned to helping my son and raise him to be a good, healthy person. And that is a far more important job than I could ever be paid for!"

Another experience happened recently when I went home to California for a visit. I saw an old family friend. She said she was thinking about me and my job. I said, "The one I don't have anymore?" and laughed. She said, "Why's that?!" I explained that following my maternity leave I quit so I could stay at home with Owen. She said, "Was that a good idea in this economy???" I said, "If it means I can stay home with my son, then yeah it's a good idea!" I could not begin to understand how she could think that it wouldn't be a good idea. What, about staying home with your child all day every day is a bad idea?! At the time I didn't know that she had recently lost her job. So I understand from her viewpoint, that quitting a good job is crazy. But it's just very interesting to me the different perspectives there are out there on the subject.

But I always come back to feeling extremely grateful that I am able to stay home with my son each day. I am thankful that Miles has a good job and is able to provide for our needs. I am thankful that I get to take part in THE HARDEST, but THE MOST REWARDING job EVER. Period. I am thankful that I get to see so many sweet and tender moments and I don't have to miss out on anything, because I know they are fleeting and that Owen will continue to change and grow quickly. I am thankful for a sweet baby who smiles and laughs and makes me feel loved. I am thankful for a husband who works so hard and comes home each night with a smile on his face when he sees me and Owen. I am thankful that I get to be a wife and a mother and give 100% of my day to these roles. And this is what I call "Embracing Wellness."


4 comments:

Sharalea said...

It is amazing to me the comments people actually say OUT LOUD and TO YOUR FACE about your personal choice to stay at home w/your children.

ALSO the idea of "wasting that education"--ummmm--don't people pay others good money for their EDUCATION to be CARETAKERS and TEACHERS of THEIR children?? YEs that education will be put to good use. Great use. Amazing use. Lucky, lucky Owen!!

I'm so proud of you, Kendra--you are doing an amazing work! One of my FAVORITE parts of my SAHM choice is the blessing & opportunity to be a 100% expert on my son. I know every facial expression he's ever made, every new thing he has seen or said, every learning moment I HAVE BEEN A PART OF. It's a beautiful thing.

I also feel very blessed that--yes, even in this economy--that we are able to pull it off, I know everyone can't and actually we feel the financial crunch more now than before but it's a sacrifice beyond worth it!

Go Mama!

Tiffany said...

I'm blog stocking you. :) I'm so excited for you and Miles and your little baby! He is beautiful! I'm also proud of your choice to stay home and give him the attention and example that he needs! Way to go! :)

I hope all is well!

Laura said...

You will never regret staying at home with Owen. You will never be sad that you raised your own son instead of someone else raising him. It's tough, but more rewarding than anything in the world. I'm happy you have this opportunity. We need to get together :)

Jenny said...

your education and work experience will benefit your family and everything you do, church, friendships etc. You are right that being a mom is the hardest thing, but if you an choose to stay home why wouldn't you? You are right why would you want to miss moments with your child or pay someone to be with them so you can be at work? It's a blessing if the husband can work and provide so mom can take care of the home, children and everything that comes with it--which I swear is more time and work than any full-time job without monetary (but plenty other benefits). Good luck as you start your mommyhood journey, there's an ebb and flow and you'll learn how to make it work best for you just like you did at wasatch (without the micromanagiing! It's nice to call your own shotson this whole motherhood thing). Good luck, I'm so excited and happy for you! And Owen is a doll, leaving him every day would be torture :)