Stay-at-home-Mom

As of July 23rd, I am officially a stay-at-home-Mom, or a SAHM. My twelve weeks of maternity leave are up, I have given my notice, and resigned from my job as a youth therapist at Wasatch Mental Health. It feels pretty monumental, as it's something I've wanted for a very long time.

There is a part of me that misses some of my work...the clients I loved that touched my heart, knowing that I have helped someone in their life to become a better person or to rid themselves of pains and scars that have weighed them down, and feeling as though I am daily using my mind and education.

However, there is plenty that I don't miss...the 8 to 5 grind, defiant clients, parents who are unwilling to change to help their family, being a witness to horrific, inhumane acts against children, being micromanaged by management, feeling helpless in the face of laws that do not stand by the victims, and living for the weekend. These are the moments that did not make me feel as though I was living up to our work motto of "Embracing Wellness."

I've thought a lot about returning to work at some point and to some small degree, but I want to be able to give myself fully to Owen and raising him. I want to give my talents and energy to him so that he can have the opposite experience of so many of my clients, by having loving parents that are willing and able to give everything to him. And I am so grateful that I am able to do this.

I've had two experiences were people have had strong opinions about my choice. One person was a client's parent. When I told her that I was pregnant, and if all went well, I was not planning on returning to work, she said, "Wow...all that education for nothing." I could not believe the gall she had to say that to me. And not only did she say it once, but TWICE! On two different occasions! I don't know why I felt the need to defend my choice, but I did. I told her that I had worked for four years, and if I could return part-time, I would, but that my employer did not offer part-time as an option. However, as I think back on this, what I should have said was, "No way! I got that education so I could help others. I helped other people for four years. And now, because I CAN, I want to put all that I have learned to helping my son and raise him to be a good, healthy person. And that is a far more important job than I could ever be paid for!"

Another experience happened recently when I went home to California for a visit. I saw an old family friend. She said she was thinking about me and my job. I said, "The one I don't have anymore?" and laughed. She said, "Why's that?!" I explained that following my maternity leave I quit so I could stay at home with Owen. She said, "Was that a good idea in this economy???" I said, "If it means I can stay home with my son, then yeah it's a good idea!" I could not begin to understand how she could think that it wouldn't be a good idea. What, about staying home with your child all day every day is a bad idea?! At the time I didn't know that she had recently lost her job. So I understand from her viewpoint, that quitting a good job is crazy. But it's just very interesting to me the different perspectives there are out there on the subject.

But I always come back to feeling extremely grateful that I am able to stay home with my son each day. I am thankful that Miles has a good job and is able to provide for our needs. I am thankful that I get to take part in THE HARDEST, but THE MOST REWARDING job EVER. Period. I am thankful that I get to see so many sweet and tender moments and I don't have to miss out on anything, because I know they are fleeting and that Owen will continue to change and grow quickly. I am thankful for a sweet baby who smiles and laughs and makes me feel loved. I am thankful for a husband who works so hard and comes home each night with a smile on his face when he sees me and Owen. I am thankful that I get to be a wife and a mother and give 100% of my day to these roles. And this is what I call "Embracing Wellness."